Therapeutic Blasphemy

 ‎"I never liked David Hockney; Delius bores me ridged and J.B. Priestley was a Fraud" 


This is the unholy Blasphemy of the Bradford Black Mass. Cross yourself thrice and sing ‘On Ilkla Moor Baht 'at’ backwards whilst burning an effigy of Christa Ackroyd (if you don't have the real thing to hand) and in exchange for your soul you will be given as much copper as you can carry in a flat cap. It’s not an amazing deal but that’s Bradford for you; times being what they are.

Alternatively if you’re a hard up arts entrepreneur you could try your hand at the D.I.Y. arts scene. It’s very fashionable right now. In this age of austerity it’s almost as cool as being uncool.  It’s all a part of Cameron’s Big Society. We’ll be digging for victory in the allotments before long for the hipsters are on the run ‘cause up is down and down is up. Let’s live off the poor by a vampirical process of osmosis. Let’s eat the poor, let’s desiccate the people; we’ll sell them their own culture repackaged and seasoned with a bastardisation of their original ideologies. I’m getting hard just thinking about it.

I have prepared a call to arms: “What the Fuck is DIY Culture?”

Do it yourself; let no one else tell you how to. Do it yourself; get up from your bed and walk you lazy bunch of bastards. Do it yourself and expect it will be stolen by those who lack imagination.  Do it yourself and don’t be afraid; it doesn’t require grace, money or intelligence.

Our children produce better work than most that’s framed in the great white halls ‘cause they did it themselves and their struggle resonates within their work.

I’m not saying don’t stand on giants shoulders but climb up there with your own two hands; do it yourself and don’t expect the group to like it, do it yourself; take risks, be dangerous and exciting.

Don’t think I mean don’t work with others though I’m sick to death of manipulated tired recycled projects disguised as collaborations. Do it yourself and others will always join you.

Do it yourself; it’s not left or right but its always political, always religious, local and personal. Do it yourself; don’t limp along seeking ‘the doctor’s’ advice when you know in your heart how to manifest from your imagination; it’s as easy as breathing just stop thinking and start doing.

Do it yourself; don’t wait at the door they made for you or try to seek admittance to a world that could not know you. Do it yourself and turn none away. Dance, paint, act, channel, play, frame, write, record, spend, save, destroy, create, whack off naked on a segway...  whichever way; however your heart, your head, your hands or stomach guide you; do it your god damn self.

This month I mostly recommend sloe gin.